Hi Zachary,
According to my records I am missing the Liberal Education assessment results from you for spring 2013. Could you please get them in by June 15th? The Liberal Education Committee will be examining the results from fall and spring assessments yet this summer and we need our records on the selected students to be as complete as possible. You can email the results to me as an attachment, or fill out the rubric manually and send it to me via campus mail. If you have misplaced your rubrics, please be in touch with [Redacted] for a replacement. Thank you!
Best I’ve come up with is:
Hi [So and So],
As I’m no longer employed by BSU, I don’t think I’m going to fill out any bullshit forms that don’t really tell anyone anything about students’ performance, my performance, or anything that actually matters. If you want to know whether or not students fulfilled the liberal education requirements of my class, here’s a simple way:
If they passed, they are good to go. If they failed, they need to try again, but harder.
In the future, try having administrators swing by classrooms and talk to students and teachers to see how things are going. In the words of Yogi Berra, “You can observe a lot by just watching.”
Sincerely,
Zach Olson
OK LADS, I READ THE NEWS AND THE MAIN STORY IS YOU’RE ALL FUCKING SLOW AND I’M THE BOSS.
